< Back Engage Gifted and 2e Learners by Embracing Their Tendencies Julie Skolnick Mar 18, 2021 I recently found an old report card. Maybe I should say ancient — it was from the second grade! It would have been funny — the clear statements of my abilities juxtaposed with my distractibility — except that the teacher focused on changing my behavior rather than igniting my intellect. This is the song often sung about gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) learners. Twice exceptional refers to people identified as gifted with a concurrent learning difference or disability. I know all too well the tendency for grownups to feel as though they must wait for behavior to “get under control” before they can challenge or enrich learners. I know this from the countless client individualized education plans, teacher emails, and neuropsychological reports I’ve read, as well as from conversations and consultations with hundreds of parent clients. The first-quarter comments in second grade for me were juxtaposed like this: Julie reads above grade level. Julie needs to challenge her energies and spend more time concentrating on her studies. There are no suggestions to fan the flames of my reading passion or engage my “energies” to develop talent or provide a challenge. The sheer lack of elaboration on my strength is fascinating to me. It felt like it was an “obviously Julie is smart” moment, “we don’t have to address that — it’s the behavior that is the problem.” What a beautiful way to encapsulate the gifted and 2e learner’s experience — where strengths are ignored or overlooked to focus on deficits and behavior. When struggles are magnified and prioritized over strengths, we plant seeds of doubt about the very thing that defines the gifted child’s essence. The following critique turns gifted characteristics on their head, as though having unique and strong opinions about topics is a bad thing. She distracts others. Can be very out-spoken and strong willed. She has the ability to do better. (sic) I actually laughed out loud at that one. Guess what, second-grade teacher? I haven’t changed! The purpose of this article is to share why it’s so important to celebrate and encourage gifted tendencies rather than squelch our gifted and 2e kids’ essence because they are difficult to harness. Can you imagine if I took my teacher’s advice and stopped pushing back or challenging ideas? I certainly would not have become a lawyer, let alone have created a business to challenge and reframe gifted and 2e parenting and education. What I do all day long is push back against systems and teach advocacy to positively reframe and lift up the 2e person’s experience. So often adults try to meld children into someone convenient for them and their adult situation. I’m certain it would have been easier for my second-grade teacher had I conformed . But I ask myself, why would a teacher — who is there to teach — ever want someone to sit and face forward? That child is not learning; that child is ingesting. Gifted and 2e kids, they don’t do that. They devour, and as they chew on ideas, they need to share, push back, and look at the information from multiple angles. This is what is known as critical thinking. This is how learning happens. Ancient rabbis perfected the art of argument. They took one book, the Torah, and they grappled with it from all angles. The more questions and pushback, the better. There is no knowing — until there is debate, critique, conversation, and even quarreling. This should be the paradigm for teaching. It’s how learning sticks. I’m sure teachers are wondering, “But how do you control a class like that?” Gifted and 2e learners are great problem-solvers. Ask them! At the beginning of class, set up the rules. Let them know how you want the class to run and ask them what needs to happen (or not happen) to keep the class under control and relevant. Ask what happens when someone departs from the rules. The same thing goes for gifted and 2e kids in the home. Rather than shutting them down, or shutting them up, lay down rules. Recognize the greatness that is their critical thinking, their questioning, their refusal to take someone at their word. Then give them perspective. Let them know how it feels when they never do anything you ask without a fight. Put it back on them and ask, “How can we make this better for both of us?” Let them solve your problem. Often teachers and parents communicate black-and-white expectations to children whom they wish were more flexible. They set up behavior plans, charts, incentives, and gimmicks to get kids to do what they want — when what gifted and 2e kids deserve is respect for their “energy” and intellect. When teachers and parents take the time to applaud gifted and 2e kids’ natural tendencies, to explain the broader viewpoint of how certain intense behaviors affect others, they gain the learner’s trust. This, in turn, opens up discussion for how to make situations better for all parties. The alternative, critiquing, expecting the worst and ignoring underlying reasons for behaviors, serves to induce anxiety, underachievement, and school- or task-refusal. As a student, because I had a high drive and motivation to please, I ended up partially adapting to my second-grade teacher’s rules. In fact, the final comments on my report card that year demonstrated that I could grin and bear it, doing meaningless and rote work. I’m happy to say, however, that I maintained my gifted gumption. Julie has made tremendous strides in completing her daily assignments. She does however need to channel her energies. Has a tendency to be very outspoken. (sic) Had she asked, I’m sure I would have described better ways to show my knowledge based on my learning. In a similar vein, a client’s 7-year-old son came home from school one day and shared that they were discussing how cars were made. They watched a movie and learned the steps of the assembly line. Throwing his hands up in frustration, this child asked, “Wouldn’t it be more interesting if the teacher asked us to think about what steps it takes to make cars, and in what order and then allowed us to share our thoughts instead of just telling us?” Just taking the time to hear the learner’s thoughts allows them to express their true self and thereby increases resilience when they have something difficult to face. Previous Next

THE EIGHTH OF APRIL TWO THOUSAND TWENTY-SIX Picture yourself at Le Brunch des Chapeaux Ashley Yarborough, Allegra Hawkins, and Alice Adair cordially invite you to the event of the season, Le Brunch des Chapeaux 2026. The co-chairs are dedicated to planning an elegant event that will surely impress. The 23rd annual luncheon is scheduled for Wednesday, April 8th, 2026, at 11 o'clock in the morning on the lawn of The Argyle. This year's event will feature a stunning fashion show by Julian Gold. All proceeds will benefit Autism Community Network in supporting autistic children and those who love them. Fabulous hats encouraged! Support Le Brunch de Chapeaux Purchase a Table Read More Purchase Raffle Tickets Read More Become an Underwriter Read More Other Day Of Opportunities Read More Follow us on Social Media Click the links below to join the fun. About the Cause: Autism Community Network Autism Community Network (ACN) is a 501c3 nonprofit organization with a mission to maximize the potential of children with autism by providing early diagnosis for those with limited access and educating and empowering the community to support them. ACN envisions a world where autistic individuals are celebrated for their unique contributions. They are dedicated to creating a strengths-focused community that embraces neurodiversity and supports big futures for autistic children and their caregivers. A Note About Parking To ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience for everyone, please DO NOT park on the street near The Argyle. This request is made in accordance with The Argyle's "Good Neighbor Policy." Street parking is strictly prohibited. If you park on Patterson, The Argyle will not allow you on the premises. There will be valet parking available for about 1/3 of our guests, and additional accommodations made for the remainder. Follow us on social media for more information. Thank you for your understanding and support—we look forward to seeing you at the luncheon! Table Sponsors Festival de Cannes $25,000 Sandy Saks Prix d'interprétation féminine $10,000 Lissette Fullmer, Kayla Skelton, & Angie Cox Charlotte Dawson Lori Donnell Marie Mays Julian Gold Prix de la mise en scéne $7,500 Lauren Gamez Alice Adair & Allegra Hawkins Burkley Fitzsimmons & Fay Walker Meyer Ashley Yarborough Injury & Pain Specialists of SA Prix du scénario $5,500 Lauren Gamez Heather Feik de Rojas Taelor Allen Minx and Onyx Cindy Dawson Linda Dullnig Liza Cole Lorien Whyte Palme d'Or du court métrage $3,500 Courtney Balsam Bellas Supporting Autism Hannah Beever Karen Bonney Christine Floro Valerie Fuller Karen Grace Karla Guerra Spencer Hardy Jena Mardell Kimberly Overby Libby Sandoval Sarah Schimpff & Jamie Gillum Randy Rogers Family Foundation Meg Stoffer Haydee Thurber Kenda Willoughby Ruth Willoughby Jamie Kimball Maurine "Mo" Shipp Drs. Hanson & Dillegas Mary Beth Mosbacker Jennifer Delgado Paloma Blanca Texas Partners Bank Katherine Trimble Diane Lewis & Kristen Palme Las Aguilas Micheon Cahill Manny Nsien Underwriting Presenting Sponsor Available Founding Sponsor Available Luncheon Sponsor Available Floral Sponsor Available Paper Suite Sponsor Corinna Holt Richter Afterparty Sponsor Available Valet Sponsor Available Sweet Treat Sponsor Available Umbrella Sponsor Available Pommes Frittes Sponsor Available Runway Sponsor Stacy Schlagel Picture Perfect Sponsor Available Table Beverage Sponsor Claire Cavender McNab & Paige Shafer Welcome Reception Sponsor Available Trolley Sponsor Northpark Lexus at Dominion Afterparty Cocktail Sponsor Rick and Suzanne Cavender Le Tapis Rouge ( The Red Carpet) Available Please email Cortney John, Chief Development Officer to secure your sponsorship today: Cortney@acn-sa.org In Kind Donations The Argyle Venue Illusions Rentals Event Decor Little Lemon Shots Photo Booths Gordon Food Service Food Service Items Julian Gold Runway Show and Paddle Raise Gifts Sheer Celebrations Event Items Paddles Up anarte gallery - ana montoya julian gold katie kime parkhurst med spa st. bernard Susiecakes Top Topper Prize Carroll Dorsey Walker Raffle Donations ab astris vineyards adair concepts aladdin rugs alamo plants & pedals alla campagna the argyle letty barolia bodybyems carol hicks bolton antiques charlotte & vincent dawson chris madrid's christine a. moore millner cultus artem dos carolinas dos kiwis studio functional nutrition feather, fluff & flings host committee j mclaughlin julian gold kelly wade jewelers kevin farnsworth orthodontics lomi skin caroline matthews mccombs enterprises medi.ci megan catalani wellness the money family mrs. Alice origins spa ursula pari parkhurst luxe medical spa pastel soft play Paloma Blanca Mexican Cuisine pontotoc vineyard pvolve alamo heights rfsa dermatology san antonio polo club sidestreet hospitality spoil me kids spa st. bernard the texas cavaliers the argyle tobin center for the performing arts trinity flowers zbiotics Previous Events

< Back Donate Every donation makes a difference. We're reaching out to you with an open heart and a shared vision for a brighter, better world. Today, we invite you to become a driving force behind the change we all wish to see. Your support, in any amount, can create ripples of impact that touch lives, uplift communities, and foster progress. Whether it's a small contribution or a larger gesture, every donation is a stepping stone towards positive transformation. Let's build BIG futures together. Let's get started

Reserve Your Spot Now! Tickets, tables, and sponsorship information below. Bet on BIG Futures! Your donation makes a direct impact in the lives of the children and their families who walk through our doors each each day. With your support, we can continue to provide life-changing services at ACN. Why Support ACN? Event proceeds will be used to support autistic children and the people who love them. ACN provides diagnostic services, innovative therapies, camps and after school clubs, support groups, educational offerings, free community events and more. Save your seat! Choose one of the options below to purchase a ticket, table, or sponsorship! First name Last name Email(Required) Select your Ticket, Table, or Sponsorship opportunity Individual Ticket $200 Let's Roll Table $2,000 Lucky Hand Table $3,000 Royal Flush Table $5,000 High Stakes Table $10,000 Casino Table Game Sponsor $750 Cocktail Sponsor $2,000 Table Beverage Sponsor $2,000 Cigar Bar Sponsor $2,000 Champagne Sponsor $2,000 Number of Individual Tickets Order Now

Caregiver Empowerment. At Autism Community Network, we know the best way to connect with others in the autism community is through fun and play! We offer a variety of programs designed for the whole family. Our Caregiver Empowerment Program aims to fortify the entire caregiver system with kindred relationships and critical knowledge to improve the overall wellness of your family. 02 SibShops SibShops are fun and energetic events that celebrate the many contributions made by brothers and sisters of autistic children. Participants will meet other neurotypical siblings of autistic children while having fun, laughing, and connecting on all aspects of having an autistic sibling. SibShops combine information and discussion activities with fun, high-energy games, food activities, and arts and crafts. SibShops are distinguished from general recreational programs by implementing discussion activities in each session. Discussion activities allow neurotypical siblings a safe space to share their own experiences while a facilitator actively listens and validates their feelings. Sibshops events are typically 2-4 hours long and may have 5-10 participants in each group. They are currently held once per month on the ACN campus. SibShops are designed for school-age children and seek to provide siblings with opportunities for peer support within a fun, recreational context that emphasizes a kids view. We believe that brothers and sisters have much to offer one another if given a chance. SibShops are our commitment to the well-being of the family member most likely to have the longest-lasting relationship with the autistic child. This program is generously supported by Circle Bar Foundation. 01 Camp AUsome! Camp AUsome! provides summer programming for autistic children and their siblings. From play-based camps to learning to code, our camps have it all! Click the link below for more information. Read More 03 Fam Jams ACN's Quarterly Fam Jams are sensory-friendly, neurodiversity-affirming community celebrations for the whole family. We will provide the food, music, and fun. All we need to complete the party is you and your loved ones. For information on our upcoming parties, please follow our event calendar and/or social media. Registration is required. If you or your organization is interested in volunteering at a Fam Jam, please email Katie Benson at katie@acn-sa.org. 04 Caregiver Ambassador Program Each family receiving an autism diagnosis has a different emotional experience. Some families would like a person with lived experience to take their hand as they embark on this new pathway. Our Caregiver Ambassador Program (CAP) connects families new to the autism community with seasoned caregivers. Together, both families can grow in knowledge and lean into each other along their journeys. For more information, follow the link below. Read More 05 Parent Groups Autism Community Network takes pride in offering a range of support groups tailored to the diverse needs of our community. We understand that individuals and families navigating the world of autism and neurodiversity often require different forms of support and guidance. Two of our prominent support groups are the PACT Parent Empowerment Pod (P-PEP) and the Neurture Project, each designed to provide specialized assistance to caregivers at different stages of their journeys. The PACT Parent Empowerment Pod (P-PEP) is an invaluable support group aimed at parents who have already participated in our PACT program. PACT equips parents with essential skills and knowledge to better support their child on the autism spectrum. Following their completion of PACT, parents may find themselves in need of continued support and connection with peers who have shared similar experiences. P-PEP serves as a lifeline, offering a supportive community where these parents can share insights, challenges, and triumphs, fostering a sense of empowerment and resilience. The Neurture Project is another vital support group specifically designed for caregivers of infants and toddlers, including those born during the challenging times of the COVID-19 pandemic. The early years are critical for neurodiverse children, and the Neurture Project recognizes the unique needs and concerns that caregivers face during this period. Our support group provides a nurturing space where caregivers can connect, share experiences, and access valuable resources to navigate the uncertainties of raising neurodivergent infants and toddlers, especially in the context of a global health crisis. Both P-PEP and the Neurture Project exemplify Autism Community Network's commitment to providing tailored support that meets the evolving needs of individuals and families affected by autism and neurodiversity. We believe that through these support groups, we can empower caregivers with knowledge, camaraderie, and resilience, fostering a stronger and more inclusive community for all.

< Back Lisa Martinez-Jimenez Board Certified Behavior Analyst Lisa M. Martinez-Jimenez holds her Master’s degree in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) from Ball State University, completed her BACB coursework from the University of North Texas and received her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Violence Prevention & Intervention Certificate from Our Lady of the Lake University. She has worked within the field of ABA for over 20 years and is dedicated to providing quality applied behavior analytic services. She has experience developing and providing ABA services with children, adolescents and adults within the home, clinic, school, and community settings. Her roles at ACN involve diagnostic assessments, autism screenings, parent/family coaching, behavioral consulting, PACT, and organizational leadership within ACN’s Autism Care Pathway Program. lisa.martinez@acn-sa.org (210) 435-1000

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< Back Patricia "Patty" Vela, MA Chief Development & Outreach Officer Patricia "Patty" Vela holds a Bachelors degree in Psychology from Southwestern University and a Masters degree in School Psychology from Trinity University. After 14 years of practicing as a Licensed Specialist in School Psychology for NISD, Ms. Vela entered her second career, non-profit development and fundraising. Prior to ACN, Ms. Vela worked for a large non-profit in San Antonio. However, she always missed working alongside children with disabilities and their caregivers which made her excited when this opportunity became available. She joined the ACN team in March, 2017. Ms. Vela is a daughter, mother, friend, bibliophile, frustrated artist, lover of music, and enjoys Gilmore Girls and HGTV a little too much! She has also developed a passion for retaionally-based or conscious parenting as she has spent more time at ACN and can often be found down internet rabbit holes of leaders in this field. Patty is a proud aunt to 2 neurodivergent children. pattyv@acn-sa.org (210) 435-1000 ext. 5002

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